What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
