Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
