Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
