New invention idea: vibrating tampons
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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