sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
