remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
