return my video game
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I need moral support for this bender
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
