Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
