I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
