Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
