I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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