He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
