The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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