I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
