you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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