I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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