I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
