i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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