Me too!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
