I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
