I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
