What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
