im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
