She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
