i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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