Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
