Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
