Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
