She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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