Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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