I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
