I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I deserve this hangover.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
This toilet bowl is my home.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
