she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
