look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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