why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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