I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
