I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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