According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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