i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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