Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
