It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish i was in the wii world.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
