I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
