I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
