I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
