Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
