You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
