He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
