I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Quick, to the slutcave!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
