Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
