my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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