so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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