Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
